You Can Only Rob As Good As You Look.
Jon Moy is a freelance writer based in Detroit. He’s written about a lot of things, but mostly about fashion. He’s just happy to be here. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @moybien1212.
One cool thing about cohabitating with another human being is that they notice things about you that you never really realized. It was recently pointed out to me that I love a good heist movie. Actually, the exact observation was that I will watch anything as long as there is some sort of complicated heist involved; it doesn’t necessarily have to be a ‘good’ movie. And you know what? It’s true. I love a good heist. Whether it’s Robin Hood and Little John stealing from feudal landlords or a ragtag crew stealing from corporate oligarchs, if there’s stealing, I’m down. Especially if they get to use cool gear and there’s a requisite ‘gear up’ scene, like where the crew loads all their guns and puts on balaclavas and tactical vests. I even recently bought a magazine dedicated entirely to a new brand of heist coming out of the Netherlands where they use oxy-acetylene or semtex to blow up ATMs to get at the cash cassettes. They wear balaclavas and Nike Dri-fit gloves and a lot of them steal Audis to use as getaway cars. Now, I’m not endorsing learning how to create small explosives and use that knowledge to steal money from ATMs, because if watching an inordinate amount of heist films has taught me anything, it’s that it’s super hard to get away with stealing a lot of money from people. But I am endorsing the fit I constructed above to wear when you are off duty, or in the planning stages of whatever type of heist you have in mind.
Wow, this leisure shirt made in collaboration with Cody Hudson is super nice and pitch-perfect to wear if you’re the jovial, likable member of a highly organized, tactically proficient bank-robbing crew. You’ve got to have some Americana style tattoos and preferably a Beretta 9mm tucked into your waistband at all times. But you also gotta have jokes to help humanize your crew because inevitably someone is gonna get shot during the job and/or getaway. Remember, I’ve seen a lot of heist movies, so take my word for it. This is also a perfect shirt to wear if in fact, your crew does pull off the robbery and you retire to an island where you own and operate a juice shop and live modestly despite having millions in unmarked Euros stashed in your bungalow.
I love cargo pants. I always have. I used to comb TJ Maxx sales racks looking for cargos. These pants are great because you could wear them before, during, and after the final job you only agreed to partake in because your old partner emotionally manipulated you into pulling off the last but also most complicated and dangerous heist of your criminal career.
I like these boots because they have a Gloxi-Cut wedge sole. I definitely would use these as my go-to robbing gear because they’d be super comfortable and Vibram soles are always so quiet. You can sneak around like a ninja in a pair of Vibram soled boots, it’s crazy. The Gloxi-Cut wedge sole is my new favorite sole, one because the name reminds me of Glocks and Glizzies, and two, wedge soles are the perfect boot soles. A lot of you might be thinking, “a blue shirt and pants with black boots, really?” and I’m gonna need you to stop being so cautious. That kind of trepidation is only going to get us jammed up during the heist.